I was 18 years old when I got pregnant. I wasn’t serious about my boyfriend. It was a casual relationship. Since I had already enlisted in the Air Force, I thought I had to have an abortion in order to make something out of my life.
My best friend drove me to the abortion clinic. I was there for about four hours. It was like an assembly line. When the ultrasound was being done I asked to see it. But this wasn’t allowed (so much for “an informed decision”). Then I asked how far along I was. I was told I was nine-and-a-half weeks pregnant. That hit me hard. I knew then that my baby was further developed than I had thought. I started doubting, and wanted to talk to my friend. But I wasn’t allowed to do that either.
When it was my turn the nurse told me that I was going to feel some discomfort, like strong menstrual cramps. The truth is that the abortion was more pain than I’ve ever felt in my life. It felt like my insides were literally being sucked out of my body. Afterwards I went into shock!
After the abortion, I tried to make up for the abortion by trying to get pregnant again. I wanted my baby back. I never got pregnant again. I don’t know if I can ever have another baby. I named my baby. I found out later that this is part of the grieving process.
I ended up in the hospital with bulimia two-and-one-half years later. I felt that no one had punished me for what I had done so I was punishing myself. I became obsessed with women who were pregnant, with women who would talk about their pregnancy. My life was in shambles! I was suffering from post-abortion trauma.
When I was 21 years old God brought me help through a woman who was involved in pro-life activism. She helped me a lot. I went through a post-abortion counseling program called “Conquerors.” God not only forgave me, He challenged me to help others . I answered the challenge!
I started picketing and sidewalk counseling. There is a healing process that comes from getting involved in the pro-life movement. I talk to youth groups and students about abstinence and I share my testimony. To them, and to you, I plead, “Please don’t make the same mistakes I did.”
~Alliance of MN, Inc. from She’s a Child, Not a “Choice”
This is a picture of a baby at the same gestation (9 1/2 weeks)
The baby is about 1 1/4 inches long from head to buttocks, heartbeat detectable by ultrasound.
Between the ninth and tenth weeks the baby swallows and squints. If the child’s forehead is touched, he may turn his head away and pucker up and frown. By now the child can bend the wrist and elbow independently and has the full use of his arms. By this time the entire body is sensitive to touch and is also capable of spontaneous movement. (Thumb sucking has been observed by the eleventh week, and x-rays will disclose clear details of the skeleton.)